Hauling the ledger up from the bilge…
Where The Money Went
Spending by category and vendor, plus the financial voyage over time. Click a slice or island anywhere on this page to drill into the full cargo manifest below.
The Ledger At A Glance
The treasury's vital signs, totted up from every line in the manifest. The numbers spin up as you reach them.
The Spending Tides
Every month the treasury has weathered, shaded by how hard it was hit. Deeper gold means higher tide. Click any month to haul up that month's cargo in the manifest below.
The Treasure Map of Spending
Each island is a spending category. Bigger island, bigger treasure buried there. X marks the money pit — click an island to inspect its cargo.
Certified Fun Math™
Humorous metrics computed from the real total. Statistically questionable. Emotionally accurate.
⚖️ Legal note from the harbormaster: these are fun statistics. The dollar totals are real; the divisors are vibes-adjacent estimates maintained by the captain.
Milestones of Questionable Judgment
The financial voyage, badge by badge.
The Big Spends
The ten heaviest crates ever loaded onto AWOOGA, ranked by damage to the treasury.
The Full Cargo Manifest
Every purchase, loaded crate by crate. Search it, filter it, click a crate to open it. Receipts (🧾) open the original paperwork.
Freshly Loaded Cargo
The latest additions to the ledger. The spending never truly stops; it merely changes category.
Ask the Ledger
Interrogate the books in plain English. AWOOGA answers from the real ledger above — nothing made up, much regretted.
The First Mate
No ledger is complete without the largest off-book asset: the one person who has watched this total climb and chosen, against all financial advice, to stay married to it.
Behind every number above is my wife hearing the words “so I found a really good deal” and not immediately calling a lawyer. She has lost more weekends to this tugboat than I have, can now tell marine-grade hardware from the regular kind by emotional osmosis alone, and still asks how the boat is doing like it’s a member of the family. It is. It’s the expensive one.
She has held flashlights at angles no human elbow was built for, nodded along to a forty-minute monologue about a bilge pump, and once looked at a fresh coat of paint and said “okay, that actually looks really good” — and meant it. The boat floats on glue, screws, and a frankly suspicious amount of her patience.
The most over-budget line item on this entire page is the goodwill of one extraordinarily supportive person — and it’s the only purchase I’d make again at twice the price. Leave the first mate a note →
