B.I.L.G.E.
Bureau of Investigations, Loitering Grievances & Escalations
AWOOGA is equipped with a pair of animatronic eyebrows mounted above the wheelhouse windows. Pick an expression below and make them move!
Fire an emoji at AWOOGA. It's basically waving from the shore — except you're on a couch, the shore is the internet, and nobody's getting their feet wet.
A tugboat who read too many books, has opinions on everything, and will answer your questions with misplaced confidence. Nautical expertise sold separately.
Real questions asked about AWOOGA — or ones the AI imagined someone would ask. Hit the button above to shuffle. Got a question of your own? The Ask AWOOGA button is right up there, sailor. Don't be shy.
AWOOGA spotted something out there. We can't confirm what. You tell us.
Actions you take will appear here.
Vote on the current challenge or add another here.
A tugboat with questionable comedic timing. Press the button for a fresh nautical groaner.
Convert normal words into highly credentialed harbor honking.
Seen AWOOGA out and about? Share your sighting!
Watching the dock so you don’t have to.
A collaborative story about AWOOGA — written one idea at a time.
You are in command. A series of increasingly questionable decisions await. Make your choices wisely. Make them boldly. Make them knowing full well the crew is watching and will absolutely remember this.
Toss a little note into the waves and let the sea handle the mystery. Then drift back by now and then because one day a bottle might wash ashore here with your name on it, just waiting to be cracked open.
We the Questionable Captains, in order to form a more ridiculous tug, establish bubbles, ensure dockside drama, provide for common nonsense, promote general buoyancy, and secure the blessings of Awoo-Gold to ourselves and future deckhands, do hereby ordain and establish this Tugstitution for AWOOGA.
AWOOGA shall retain the right to emit bubbles when circumstances are joyful, dramatic, suspicious, or otherwise inadequately explained.
The captain may steer, snack, overthink, and declare any feature ‘almost done’ with limited oversight.
All crew members shall be entitled to snacks, vague confidence, and at least one unnecessary nautical title.
No visitor shall disparage the tug’s size, question the legitimacy of the bubble stack, or imply that the eyebrows are ‘too much.’
All unresolved grievances may be referred to B.I.L.G.E., where they may be reviewed, misplaced, escalated, stamped, or converted into a Tug Trial Court proceeding.
Authority shall be divided among the Captain, the Bilge, the Bubble Stack, the People, and a suspicious gull if present.
Have an idea for improving the official unofficial rules? Submit it below. All proposals are reviewed by the Committee on Unrealistic Expectations.